We always like to brighten up your drab workday with a little bit of crotchless fun! Not only are crotchless panties fun, they also serve an important utilitarian purpose (one that needs no explanation).

Here are some of our favorites!

Frederick’s of Hollywood, cheesy as it may seem, actually had the widest variety. From ruffles to lace, these underthings all had one thing in common, easy access for the girl on the run.

Ruffled Lace Crotchless Hipster Panty

Booty Parlor (a sexy web site that doesn’t make us feel dirty) specializes in romantic accessories and lingerie. We like the panty below with the big, big bow!

Peepshow Princess Crotchless Cheeky Panty

Her Room sells underthings from Leg Avenue, including this butterfly delight for only $5! For that price, you can buy a whole flutter (yes, I looked up the name for a group of butterflies).

Leg Avenue Butterfly Crotchless Thong

For a bit of color and spin on the word “crotchless” we suggest Agent Provocateur‘s ouvert series of knickers. Pricey but worth it (and, if you have a problem with the word “crotchless” which I do, you won’t find it anywhere on the site! They refer to a “naughty opening” which has more than one meaning, obv. and har har!)

Jodie Ouvert Brief

With such a selection of naughty underthings available, we suggest wearing them to work as a secret only you and your office affair will know about. Ssssshhhhhhhh!!!

After hearing about the Sonia Rykiel pour H&M line of knitwear, lingerie and accessories, we picked ourselves off the floor and proceeded to use our investigative journalism skills to find out what we could about this collision of high-end French fashion and mass retailer. Sonia Rykiel is gracing the masses with her romantic French sensibility by creating a line that channels vintage in a modern way.  After taking a look at the sneak peek photos, we have to say, this is indeed a marriage made in (lingerie) heaven.

Sonia Rykiel Pour H&M

We ABSOLUTELY ADORE the pale pink color, high-waisted briefs, boning (hehe) and (of course) the garters. Our favorite is the one at the far right. Below, we see nothing wrong with rosettes on the arse and velvet pajama pants. We can imagine any of these would heat up cold winter nights.

Sonia Rykiel Pour H&M

H&M creative advisor Margareta van den Bosch in a statement, ”This is a totally modern, new kind of lingerie look, and when we started to work together with Rykiel on it, we just couldn’t stop.” Can’t stop, won’t stop!

It seems somewhat reminicient of Catherine Deveuve’s “wardrobe” in Belle de Jour:

Catherine Deneuve

The seductive lingerie line will hit 1,500 select H&M shops and Rykiel’s own high-end boutiques on December 5th, and we highly suggest taking the morning off, or else someone else will get your bored-housewife-who-prostitutes-herself-in-the-afternoon lingerie.

While at a recent children’s charity event we were photographed by unassuming party photog Thomas Evans and when we told him we were fashion blogger extraordinaires he slipped us his real card. After we found it in the bottom of one of our clutches a week later and checked it out (the curious cats we are…meow) these photos left us either horny or disturbed, you decide which!

Pavon dress

Although All Hallow’s Eve has ended and taken with it your right to dress like a complete slut without judgement being cast upon you, we just couldn’t resist sharing these bondage-inspired delights! Patricia Field, maven of all things trashy and wonderful, offers a goldmine of Lady Gaga-esque garb. If you’re not lucky enough to live in NYC, you can peruse her wares online. Just don’t blame us if people think you’re selling YOUR wares when you slip into these barely-there bits of fabric. But Patricia’s not the only one who thinks you should run around the city half-naked. Leave it to Lindsay Lohan to make us want to take a page from her book of slutdom. If you don’t know what we’re talking about, check out her latest incarnation of “leggings” below.

6126

Strippers everywhere rejoice! Let me guess, she wants you to use her new self-tanning line, Sevin Nyne before you put these monstrosities on (btw, what’s with all these stupid numerical brands she’s hawking?). If you were hoping for a Hohan comeback, I’m afraid your dreams have been dashed and taken to the nearest Vegas flesh joint.

Helmut Lang Bondage Long Sleeve Dress

And if you have $500 and an urge to try a classier version of this trend, how about Helmut Lang’s version from shopbop.com. Being tied up never looked so good!

To continue our perceived domination of Halloween, in addition to our Halloween nails, we’re also going to be checking out the creative hair and makeup packages at Dex New York, one of NYC’s top hair and makeup studios!

Our only question is: Why can’t it be Halloween everyday?

Last month (yes, I know, we’re late reporting!)  we discovered a vital invention that will save left-handed men THREE WHOLE SECONDS in the bathroom. I know people are busier and busier these days, but this is ridiculous! HOM, sometimes sexy (but usually cheesy) French underwear company (Calvin Klein has nothing to worry about) is behind this phenomenon.

The Telegraph reports, ” While boxer shorts usually have an central opening, Y-fronts and trunks traditionally have a right-handed opening, making it potentially more tricky for left-handed men when they are standing at a urinal. The Hom underwear has an opening slit made horizontally underneath the waistband.”

HOM HO1 via hom.com

You can purchase the invention of the century here. Also, is it just me, or the name HO1 hilarious?!

Four Spooky Design Nails to Claw Out the Night from Kiss

Nail Halloween this year with four spooky designs of Kiss’ press-on nails available at leading drug-stores nationwide.  These are perfect nails for Halloween parties and a day of trick-or-treating.

Red French  Silver Spider Web   Vampire Red  Black & White Skull

Available at all Sephora Locations October 15th – 31st 2009 plus www.dashingdiva.com

Dashing Diva introduces new Halloween themed Design Nails on the Go, fun pre-glued press-on nails for the spooky holiday festivities.  They can last for up to two days of wear.  To remove, simply soak nails in warm water and remove – no damage is done to the natural nails.

Halloween Design Nails on the Go are available in three designs:

Skull & Bonz      Treasure Island        Love Potion

Features
• No messy polish or drying time.
• Fun & trendy – Designs for the fun-loving, trend-setter.
• Quick & easy – Adhesive is already on the nails. Find the correct sized nail, press-on and go!
• Nails last for a day or two if desired, or for just one evening
• No damage done to the natural nails.

Price: $8.00

Dashing Diva Design Nails on the Go are currently available online at http://www.dashingdiva.com/DashingDivaStore/c-82-diva-specials.aspx.

Starting October 15^th, they can also be purchased at participating Dashing Diva nail spas and at all 240 Sephora stores nationwide until Halloween.

According to our fierce French source, it will be both clothing and accessories.

Yves Saint Laurent
Friends and Family Sale 2009
October 28th – 30th

Up to 80% off original retail prices

Wednesday, October 28 8am – 8pm
Thursday, October 29 8am – 8pm
Friday, October 30 8am – 2pm

Metropolitan Pavilion
123 West 18th Street, 4th floor
Between 6th and 7th Avenue

Cash, Visa, MasterCard, Discover and American Express accepted.
No Checks. All Sales are FINAL.

Pierre Dal Corso

Amazing color contrast and I love how the lipstick that took so long to meticulously apply can all be destroyed and create another type of beauty with one careful smudge.

No one does smudged lipstick better than Lady Gaga in Out magazine.

Starting a new lipstick trend?

photos via designboom

We don’t suggest trying to wear earrings this size, but Belgian artist Liesbeth Busssche designs jewery for the streets of Amsterdam.

necklace chain

broken heart chain

broken heart chain

If you want to see more of Busssche, check out her web site. She’s currently exhibiting at the ‘What’s New?’ exhibition at Galerie Sofie Lachaert in Belgium until November 8. If you’re in the hood, swing by! We feel more cities should accessorize their city like this–it’s interesting, eye-catching  yet discreet–all of the qualities a woman should try to cultivate. We try here at FMMH, but we’re apparently works in progress! (The hardest part for us is the discreet part–how can hurricanes be discreet?)

Also, to try to organize our scattered and varied interests, we will be launching more “makes me horny” blogs, including design, art and music, so stay tuned!

I noticed this in the cab tonight and all I can say is WOW. (And that it made my lady parts tingle.) Kate Moss, Depeche Mode and YSL. The perfect trifecta!