Our favorite crazypants store, Fred Flare, has long been a source of gag gifts and legit accessories. For those of you who don’t want to give another dreaded box of See’s Candy to your Secret Santa in your circle of friends (who will then silently curse you for the added holiday weight), check out the Fred Flare wares (say that ten times fast) you can buy to make you the bestest Secret Santa ever.

Cupcake Beanie

This cupcake beanie lets you call someone sweet without saying a word. Look at the cherry on top!

Cupcake Beanie, $30

Dip-Dye Infinity Scarf

The nuanced colors in this lightweight infinity scarf make it a hit with any cooler-than-thou fashionista. Plus it’s only $14! Score.

Dip-Dye Infinity Scarf, $14

WTF Self-Inking Stamp

For the poor friend who works for a mentally unstable kook, give them the WTF stamp and let them vent their frustrations at work in a not-so-passive aggressive way.

WTF Self-Inking Stamp, $12

Bottle Opener Rings

Functional fashion at its finest. These bottle opener rings will make your gift recipient the talk of the town, or at least the talk of the bar.

Bottle Opener Rings, $8

Peanut Butter and Jelly Pouch

The perfect gift for the fashionable foodie, this peanut butter and jelly pouch keeps your valuables safe while stimulating an appetite. (Best for an underweight friend.)

Peanut Butter and Jelly Pouch, $12

When we spoke with Jules Kim of Bijules earlier this year, she chatted about Beyonce wearing her goods, her Le Bij line for Urban Outfitters and the now-ubiquitous bar ring. She failed to mention, however, that her next step would be to create an avant-garde line with nipple pasties, contact lenses, a jeweled cigarette holder and more, all dipped in gold–maybe because she knew we would keel over in a horror-rapture hybrid faint.

Directed by Steamclam and, of course, starring Kim herself.

Bijules Haute: Le nez de Tycho: Web Version from steamclam on Vimeo.

Face it: everyone’s sick of grape “eyeballs” and spaghetti “veins” at your annual Halloween party. This year, it’s time for something different!

Kamibashi, a North Carolina company that sells fair trade Thai handicrafts, make string dolls that are too cute to be scary! Pick from almost 20 Halloween-themed dolls, including Punkin’, The Grim Reaper, SkullBoy, Witchy Woman and The Ghost. Bonus? Each doll comes with its own special qualities and a portion of sales go to charity. Now that’s spooktacular! (I tried to restrain myself from typing that, I really did.)

Available online or check for local stores here.

The turban, the headband and their lovechild, the turband have been around since Nicole Ritchie and the Olsen twins brought them into boho vogue a few seasons ago. Oh, happy day! You, too, can emulate your favorite Olsen twin (it’s probably Mary-Kate, I’m guessing), courtesy of shops from Saks to Forever 21.

Wild Thing Turband

The Wild Thing Turband from Gold Saturn comes in a variety of colors and patterns, so you can match your turband to your shoes, the way any proper lady should.

Coal Peters Tweed Headband

This chunky Coal Peters Headband from ASOS will keep your forehead warm and fashionable.

Got It Going Pom Headband

For the peppy turband-wearer, nothing beats the Got It Going Pom Headband from Modcloth (except maybe real pom-poms).

Portolano Crochet Flower Headband

For an apres-ski look, check out the Portolano Crochet Flower Headband from Saks. It looks so soft, doesn’t it?

Bow Knit Headband

And finally, for those of you who are leery of spending more than $5.80 on a passing trend, I present to you the Bow Knit Headband from Forever 21.

This is a bit surprising. I wouldn’t think of BCBG as a place where I would go for body jewelry (not that they’re even shown on the body, but on blazers, weirdly), but, apparently, this is another example of  the subversive moving to the mainstream, yet again. I just hope I don’t see my mother with a chain epaulet on top of a St. John’s suit or our local weather girls wearing them while talking about high pressure systems.

Metal-mesh epaulet

Chain Epaulet

According to the Ralph Lauren Style Guide Glossary, Fair Isle is defined as ” A colorful geometric design, often knit in soft, heathered yarns, named after one of the Shetland Islands in Scotland.” That’s all well and good, but the real question is: how cool is it that there’s a glossary on Ralph Lauren’s website?!

Anyway, the leaves are falling, the temps are a droppin’ and even though there are probably 80 scarves and hats in your closet ALREADY (don’t count them–the number will horrify you) nothing says winter like an accessory that reminds you of a Scottish island you’ve never visited.

This season, Fair Isle has veered from traditional sweaters to accessories like caps, leg warmers and even tights. Time to cozy up to one of fall’s top trends!

Check out this Fair Isle deerstalker from ASOS, for those of you who stalk deer?

Here’s a Fair Isle beret from Eugenia Kim, made of baby alpaca (not sure if that’s PETA-approved).

One of my favorite Fair Isle incarnations is, of course, these adorable leg warmers by Marc by Marc Jacobs. Wear them tucked into boots or out for Fair Isle fun.

If you like a little bling to go with your Fair Isle, American Eagle Outfitters smattered a scarf with sequins. Perfect for a southern California winter!

French jeweler Philippe Tournaire has created a collection of unusual rings celebrating the architecture of places such as NYC, Paris, Moscow and (strangely) Florida, in addition to rings mimicking the architectural styles such citadels, monasteries and chalets. We get the city rings, but not the, say, chalet ring. Well, to each her own. We still prefer repping our hood through area code necklaces.

NYC

Paris

Moscow

Florida

Chalet

Citadel

[via Beautiful Life]

This is one of the cutest bags from Marc by Marc Jacobs in a long time! Rich suede, a chain link gold strap and gold floral details combine to make this a party-perfect bag. The cross-body styling is perfect for our your drunken stumbles home.

Dot Perfect Purse, $280 at Net-a-Porter

Maison Martin Margiela has answered our prayers (and killed our dreams of a healthy savings account) by opening up its very first e-commerce site (or e-boutique, as they call it) in a private online preview. Never fear, the public can access the site starting October 1st.

Check out what awakened sartorial yearnings we haven’t felt, well, since last week:

Lambskin Beige Scarf

Leather and Brass Bracelet

Leather Ankle Boot

Straight Cardigan with Oversized Cowl Neck

Belted Short Jacket with Detachable Satin Collar

Three days, three videos in a row! Wow, that’s called laziness.

Sorry, peeps, but we couldn’t pass up posting an interview with Kate Moss (whose voice we’ve never heard, by the way) at a party in London unveiling her collaboration with Longchamp. Bespoke Banter‘s Scott Wimsett talks to her and Longchamp’s CEO, Jean Cassegrain about their new and exciting collaboration. She does look she’s tossed back a few, but beautiful nonetheless.

Give props to your hood with these gangsta-lite area code necklaces from Zoe Chicco. 310, 212 or any three numbers of your choosing can hang with pride around your neck, even if you’re rocking 218, Duluth, Minnesota’s finest! Word.

Area Code Number Necklace, $290 at Zoe Chicco