Our favorite crazypants store, Fred Flare, has long been a source of gag gifts and legit accessories. For those of you who don’t want to give another dreaded box of See’s Candy to your Secret Santa in your circle of friends (who will then silently curse you for the added holiday weight), check out the Fred Flare wares (say that ten times fast) you can buy to make you the bestest Secret Santa ever.

Cupcake Beanie

This cupcake beanie lets you call someone sweet without saying a word. Look at the cherry on top!

Cupcake Beanie, $30

Dip-Dye Infinity Scarf

The nuanced colors in this lightweight infinity scarf make it a hit with any cooler-than-thou fashionista. Plus it’s only $14! Score.

Dip-Dye Infinity Scarf, $14

WTF Self-Inking Stamp

For the poor friend who works for a mentally unstable kook, give them the WTF stamp and let them vent their frustrations at work in a not-so-passive aggressive way.

WTF Self-Inking Stamp, $12

Bottle Opener Rings

Functional fashion at its finest. These bottle opener rings will make your gift recipient the talk of the town, or at least the talk of the bar.

Bottle Opener Rings, $8

Peanut Butter and Jelly Pouch

The perfect gift for the fashionable foodie, this peanut butter and jelly pouch keeps your valuables safe while stimulating an appetite. (Best for an underweight friend.)

Peanut Butter and Jelly Pouch, $12