As we’re smack-dab in the middle of football season, it’s a no-no not to be dressed in some sort of football-inspired gear or in your favorite team’s jersey. We here at FMMH think a bit differently. Hey, if you have to watch football, it may as well be in something sexy! Let’s check out some styles that will definitely get you flagged.

Touch by Alyssa Milano

I personally CANNOT STAND the Colts and I feel Peyton Manning is the Antichrist, soooooooo Colts fans can wear this boring hoodie (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz).  Like Peyton Manning believes in love and peace and all that that this hoodie falsely declares.

Chargers thong

Since the weather in San Diego is so perfect and the Chargers fans are so good-looking (;)) one only needs to wear this Bolts thong to creating lightening on the football field or in your bedroom. Cuuuttttteeeee!!!!

New England Patriots Pajamas

7-5, Brady, really? Since you are sucking lately, your fans deserve full coverage pajama pants that cover any semblance of femininity. If you concerned yourself with yards thrown rather than impregnating Gisele (who, in interviews, says she feels like your son’s real mother–never mind he already has a real mother–dumb bitch) you guys might deserve your rabid fans’ irrational adoration. BTW, I hate your coach.

Broncos Thongs

The Broncos can suck it, but hey, I feel kind of sorry for them so I suggest their fans wear these comfortable looking thongs (maybe all at once, since it’s so damn cold at that elevation).

Sexy Ref

If you’re looking for a job in professional sports, try showing up to your interview like this. Just don’t forget your resume.

I love sports!