Photo:time.com

So I took a few things away from this film and made a lovely list for you:

1.) I want Andre Leon Talley’s job.

I had a sneaking suspicion he served as Vogue’s gay-fur-wearing mascot, and this film confirmed that Andre is probably where he is do his fun flamboyance (funbloyance?) and ability to tolerate Anna. Besides the fact that Andre does not have to come to work everyday, gets designer freebies, and gets invited to fabulous events he gets to do something women in fashion never get to do BE FAT. I know that sounds bitchy, but if you can come up with some high level women in the fashion game who are overweight holla at us. He gets all the fun of fashion plus the carbs! (I’m not hating Andre, I’m just trying to learn the game.) Although Anna did advise him to lose weight, his hilarious attempt at tennis leaves me feeling that we will not be seeing a svelte Andre anytime soon. Anyone who can still have a career in fashion after putting Jennifer Hudson in that awful bolero wins points with me. While Andre is experiencing “a famine of beauty”, I’m pretty sure that’s the only famine he is familiar with these days.

2.) Grace Coddington needs a new conditioner.

It’s hard to believe that someone who works in an office with such an incredible beauty closet, full of the most up-to-the-minute beauty products on the market can’t swipe a tube of Kerastase every once in a while. (I worked at an office with just an ok beauty closet and I was all over that shit.) While you spend most of the film laughing with Grace not at her, this hair situation needs to be remedied. After Anna tells the camera man to get himself to a gym, tells Andre to lose weight, insults Sienna Miller’s hair and teeth, you would think she would make a biting remark about Grace’s hair, but she never does! Although Anna is horrible to Grace in so many other ways, it’s probably a simple case of forgetfulness on her part. Anna is too busy cutting all of Grace’s amazing photo shoots out of the magazine to notice she has hair similar to an orange Brillo pad.

3.) Anna Wintour is cold.

If you want to see the warm and fuzzy side of Anna, you have to come to the wrong place. (This movie will leave you wondering if that side even exists.) It’s hard to imagine Anna cuddling with her kids, or eating ice cream in her pajamas. She usually just walks around the office looking like she just smelled shit and criticizing anything with a pulse. But would we have it any other way?

WARNING: Do NOT take your husband, boyfriend, one-night-stand, friend with benefits, etc to see this: They will die of boredom and if they don’t they will never allow you to pick the movie again. Consider yourselves warned ladies.