Ahhh, jumpsuits. They come in all shapes and sizes:

Beyonce

I’m totally on board with this jumpsuit, cause it’s formfitting enough to not add any extra poundage, but still loose enough be comfortable. This evens Beyonce out,  and takes her from “bootylicious” to proportioned. Well done B.

Leona Lewis

While gofugyourself.com had a field day with this particular jumsuit, it’s bouncyness delights me. This style is for the slimmer gals though. (read: if you are bottom heavy you need not apply. Yes, we are talking to you Beyonce.)

But not all jumpsuits are created equal, as evidenced by the Zimmerman version above. Unless you are Chloe Sevigny  (And if you are  I love you!! And want to be best friends with you!! And can’t believe you are reading my blog!!) step away form this jumpsuit. These are murky jumpsuit waters and should only be navigated by the most experienced among us.

My $30 no-name jumpsuit

So the Tory Burch sample sale did not work out for me, but  upon leaving my eagle-eyed friend Sara spotted a sample sale sandwich board promising all kinds of high end designer duds at discount prices. So we headed in the building and followed the signs and took the elevator to the basement. (The night before I saw the movie Taken with Liam Neeson and as the elevator descended I thought this could be a ploy to get girls down in the basement of a random building and then sell them into the sex trade. So naturally  I shoved Sara out the elevator door first, buying myself a few key moments in case I needed to call Liam. I digress.) What we found were discounted designer clothes (think Prada, Marc Jacobs, Armani ect.) on one side and no-name stuff we could actually afford on the other side. This jumpsuit is of the latter category, and in all honesty doesn’t even look that great on me, but I want to be the kind of fierce bitch that has a semi-fabulous fake satin jumpsuit hanging in her closet. So sue me.